Tolerance in Texas

Today we tried to squeeze every moment in with the kids.

Waking up at 5:30, we ran those kids until bedtime. It was a basic Saturday: shopping, move more stuff to my sister in law's apartment, and go to see farm animals. We do this nearly every Saturday. It more or less makes my son look normal during the week.

In addition to working with an autistic son, I made the mistake of buying a home with a lawn. This means that any free time must be spent away from my family, work, and the blog, at Home Depot.

So, my son and I went to Home Depot. The part my autistic son cannot take is being in line--any line. He gets so anxious he shakes, screams in an ear piercing high pitched voice, and goes limp on the floor. And a line is the only way to get out of Home Depot.

Standing next to me, was a woman who looked tolerant. Her hair was cut short. It was colored white, yellow, and what once must have been puce. I think there were some dark roots, but I really can't be sure. Her shirt color kind-of sucked all the light from her pale-snow like skin, but somehow made her florescent yellow skirt and high heeled black boots stand out.

To me, this look screams tolerance. In nature, when an animal has these colors, it means "avoid".

Before introducing herself, she told me how her kids were almost worse than mine. I let her know that my son is autistic, that he hates lines, and I thanked her for not minding the outburst. Then comes the line that I have heard so many times.

"You know what I think it is..." she began.

And before I could say "No thanks, I can do with out that knowledge." I get to hear this line, once again.

"It is in the mercury in the immunization shots." We all have lines that we hate. That one is mine.

I don't know why my son is autistic. I don't care if it is mercury, or the inability of his immune system to fight off allergies. The likely cause: that is the way he is. That is the way A LOT of kids are these days. I love him and my daughter--who is not autistic--exactly the same.

If there is a miracle cure, I'll take it. I will take anything that won't harm my child. The last place I expect to find an answer to why my child is autistic is in a shopping line.

Still, I appreciated her ability to not give me that "why can't you control your kid" look.